Getting Ready to Have Babies

Don’t get too concerned now. I did not say babies are on the way. I only said I was getting ready to have babies. And associated with getting ready are the personal fine tuning of some character flaws, as well as the continued development of enriching skills, such as personal prayers, meditation, and education. But today I discovered that there is even more I can do to prepare for children. I can begin to buy baby products that will simultaneously develop the child and amuse me! Hurray. Here are a few of my favorites.

Rockabye Baby: Lullaby Renditions of Metallica

This is exactly what it sounds like. Who says children are being exposed to too much, too soon? Here, at rockabye baby, they are sure to push those boundaries to the furthest conceivable limit (baring blasting heavy metal through headphones on your pregnant belly for the poor unborn fetus to rock out too). While lullaby’s based upon the musical stylings of one of the hardest heavy metal bands of the 80’s may seem a tad counter intuitive, some of them are actually quite soothing.

Fade to Black

Too bad “Enter Sandman” came off as a frightening clown song instead of a cute tune to fall asleep by.

Enter Sandman

Baby Mop: “Get Baby Ready for Housework

And isn’t it time? Time for that lazy 8 month old crawling machine to being to pull their weight around the home. Gone are the days of happily chucking food round the house, then lackadaisically puttering around the floor in search of new adventures. This priceless invention (while unfortunately reinforcing some of the stereotypes about South East Asian child labor) allows the stay at home father a much deserved break from the pains of cleaning up after the latest failed round of “the choo choo is coming in the tunnel… open wide!”

With these, and many other inventions, parenthood is sure to be a snap! Now if I could only find someone to date me.

For a further hilarious list of insane child inventions, click here.


~ by maffersalmon on July 16, 2008.

One Response to “Getting Ready to Have Babies”

  1. This is incredible! Thanks so much for sharing the link! I will be sharing it with many others (I hope you don’t mind).

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